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When I was 19, I worked at Wet Seal. What a weird name for a trendy clothing store, right? Anyway, one of my co-workers had told me about her roommate, a friend, or maybe it was just a girl in her class that was going to graduate college completely debt-free. As a college student at the time who was rapidly raking up my own debt, I had to know her secret. The answer?

Surrogacy.

I immediately became turned off and felt a little, for lack of a better word, icky. This girl is getting pregnant who knows how many times not with the mindset of helping others, but to pay for college? I couldn’t believe it. Then again, my only experience with surrogacy was watching Phoebe on Friends have her brothers’ babies. Isn’t that how surrogacy works? A friend or relative asks you? I would quickly realize I did not have all of the information.

But you know what I did as soon as I got home from work? I went to my good pal Google and started researching surrogacy. I didn’t get very far though because the one thing I kept finding over and over was you had to have had your own successful pregnancy first. I was 19 and definitely not going to have kids anytime soon.

I felt compelled to do this like this would be the way I could help at least two people in this world. Underneath my ever-present resting bitch face is a girl that wants to give everything she can to the world. I don’t have the financial resources, at this point in time, to get homeless people off the streets or ensure that every child has a Christmas, but I still feel compelled nonetheless to help others.

At any rate, I pushed the idea to the back of my mind. It would come up every so often and I would think about it, but I wouldn’t give it more than a second thought. And eventually, I just forgot about it.

When I was 24, a month shy of 25, amazing news happened. I found out I was pregnant with our little girl. My husband and I had been casually trying for about 6-7 months, but we weren’t actively doing anything. More like we weren’t trying to prevent it. I felt super queasy and decided to take a test. And when I saw the word pregnant staring back up at me, I started crying and called my husband at work. He wasn’t too excited about that since he just got there and had 8 hours still ahead of him. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t very productive that day and he was the manager!

Fast forward a bit and our daughter was finally here. She was perfect. Happy, healthy, and we couldn’t have asked for a better baby. We were instantly in love and watching her grow up has been one of the best gifts we could have ever been given.

Do you see where I’m going with this? I didn’t instantly jump into the idea of surrogacy. In fact, it wasn’t even on my radar. Right after my daughter’s third birthday in December, I was on Craigslist of all places. And somehow in that rabbit hole, I landed on an ad. It was for a surrogacy agency in my state and it all came back to me. But this time? All I could think about was my daughter. The girl I love more than my own life. Every single part of her. The strong independent stubborn girl that drives me crazy, the beyond sweet girl that tells me she loves me to the moon, and everything in between.

Looking at that ad and thinking about my daughter I suddenly was overcome with so many emotions. Just knowing there are couples out there that can’t have children on their own completely shattered my heart. I didn’t think twice, I went straight to the agency’s website and requested more information.

I figured it would go nowhere and I was resigned to leave it up to the Universe. If it was meant to be, it would happen. And you know what? I got an email back the next day from a coordinator wanting to set up a phone interview. What? They actually want to take the next step for me to become a surrogate? There’s no way. There absolutely is a way. And that first step lead to so many more.

Find out next week, what happened next and where this journey has lead me so far…