If this is your first time reading my surrogacy posts you’ll want to go back to the beginning and start here. If you’re all caught up, then keep reading!
Up to this point, my journey was stressful, anxiety-ridden, but most of all exciting. I was so eager to get through all of the preliminary screening and actually get moving in the process. At the time it felt like everything was going so slow, but now that I’m over halfway done with my pregnancy I’ve come to realize how quickly everything has happened for me. It can take years before women get to my point and after everything is said and done, my journey from my first initial phone conversation to delivery will be less than a year and a half. Talk about the stars aligning and everything just falling into place.
But let’s get back to the good stuff, shall we?
After I got the phone call letting me know that everything was approved, my interviews, my previous pregnancy records, my home inspection, my husband’s and my psychological evaluations, everything, I was told the next step would be a waiting game. This is the moment I had been waiting for. Everything built up to this moment. My personal profile had been built and potential parents were going to be reviewing it. If any of them decided they liked me, I would be given their profile, and we would either move forward or the review process would start over again. Talk about nerve-wracking.
You all know I’m an author and I should probably have thick skin to be in this business. The truth of the matter is I seriously doubt myself and what I’m capable of. Don’t get me wrong, I know that I can do anything I set my mind to, but I also suffer from a serious case of imposter syndrome. It’s hard putting yourself out there and even harder when you want something so bad. And with surrogacy, I wanted it more than anything. I don’t have the financial means to greatly affect someone’s life, but I knew this is something that I could. Something that’s life-changing that I am capable of doing.
Back to me being a ball of anxiety. I prepared myself to be waiting forever. I tried pushing everything about surrogacy out of my mind and busy myself with everyday life. But I was kidding myself and it was all I could think about. I was pretty flexible on most things and I was told I wouldn’t be hard to match, but of course being who I am I questioned everything.
Turns out, I had nothing to worry about. Not even a week after I was approved to move forward, I had a match. I couldn’t believe it. Before I opened the profile for the potential parents, I told myself not to get too excited. Just because they liked me, doesn’t mean these were the parents I had to choose. I mean I would be attaching myself to these strangers for at least a year, if not life if we chose to have a relationship past delivery. So I tried to keep a level head, but that didn’t last long.
Why you might ask?
Because I fell in love. I got butterflies and became so giddy. I read through the potential parents’ profile and then I read it again. All the while I kept telling myself, they sound exactly like my husband and me. That’s not possible, right? I sent the email to my husband and I told him he had to read it right then and there. He was at work, but luckily he read it anyway. And he thought the same thing. They’re perfect.
So we were all set to go then, right? Not so fast, but you’ll have to wait until next week to find out what happened next.